Fantastic Thing No. 8

Once upon a time, she was on a softball team. She was no good, really, but she felt the need to be something great someday, and she thought that maybe this was the way to do it.

(it wasn’t, just in case you were wondering)

She was a sophomore in high school and was nowhere NEAR the JV or Varsity level, so she played on the Sophomore Team.

read:  “…there are [good] teams and there are [bad] teams. Then there's fifty feet of crap, and then there's us.”

(slightly edited quote from Moneyball)

This wasn’t a team. This was a group of girls who only slightly got along with one another, each praying that coach would see her inner Jennie Finch break free and dazzle the masses, guaranteeing a starting spot on the Varsity team in the very least. …you know, with as much dirt rubbed in it as possible.

She also didn’t have very high self-esteem. She was shy, she was awkward, she didn’t really have friends like the rest of them did. She had a few, but at that point, it was more along the lines of a group of already established friends who let her sit with them at lunch.

So to recap, she was basically a nobody who had nothing going for her. She was a nice girl, but by no means was she anyone’s first choice to sit next to in the dugout. Or second. Not even third. She probably had a better chance of getting placed at the bottom of the batting order than she did of having someone genuinely think she was interesting.

Then one day, they drove up to Lehi for a game. It was right after school, and her last class of the day had been seminary, so she had placed her scriptures in her bag with her softball gear. When they got to the field, she took her scriptures out to find her sunflower seeds that had mysteriously gone missing in the catacombs of her Nike bag. Beautiful Sydney saw them.

“Your middle name is Lyn?” she asked.

(the girl’s full name was engraved on her scriptures)

“Yeah,” she answered.

“It’s pretty!” Sydney said.

I want you to know that this moment changed her life in a small, but profound way. The girl never really thought much of her middle name. After all, it was her uncle’s name, even though her mother promises that she was not named for him. Still, no girl wants an old man’s name for her own. But at that moment, when Sydney expressed her approval of the girl’s middle name, she started to like it. It became beautiful to her, too.

She started using it everywhere. She wrote it on her food when she got to college, she signed it on notes she sent to her friends, she included it in her username for her Instagram account, she put it everywhere. It was as though almost overnight, her middle name went from something she mostly disregarded to something that she genuinely liked, and even treasured.

Sometimes, in life, all we need is one person to genuinely believe we’re worth something. One person to believe we are truly beautiful. When all we feel like is just another rock kicked down to the base of a mountain, sometimes we just need one person to notice us, pick us up, and see that we’re actually a precious stone, far better than we could even believe of ourselves.

Sometimes, all a person needs is someone to see the worth they never thought they had, and then they’ll start to see it for themselves.

Be that person for someone else.

Fantastic Thing No. 7

It is amazing

how a human body can grow

SO MUCH

in 18 months.

well,

technically, there are 20 months between these pictures.

BUT STILL.

It astounds me how these kids just shoot up.

Also,

family, guys.

Family is best buddies.

And THAT is one of the best things in this world. :)

Daydream No. 4

| Except this one isn't about a boy. |

One morning, she and Roomie were driving to campus, both dreading the mundane events of the day. Since they lived north of the school they were attending at the time, they were heading southward to start their daily routine of books, tests, and falling asleep through Humanities 202. There were also some other life crises probably going on at the time, because, well, they were single, twenty-somethings living on their own, working, going to school, and otherwise trying to figure out this whole life thing.

#lifeisbeautiful

Waiting for a traffic light to turn green, she turned to Roomie and said, "Rumi. Let's just keep going south. Let's go to California." Roomie looked at her and said,

"Okay. Let's go to California."

Of course, they never did. While she was half serious, and Roomie might have been too, they both knew that it wasn't going to happen. They weren't going to just hit the freeway and take their own vacation, skipping tests and risking their jobs. And let's be real: She was driving an Excursion at the time. An Excursion that ran on diesel fuel. An Excursion that ran on diesel fuel with a 40-gallon tank, averaging 13 miles per gallon. Neither one of them wanted to pay for that thing to make it to CA. And so, a spontaneous California trip became an inside joke for them from then on.

A couple years passed and she and Roomie graduated from School. Roomie went on to serve a mission for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, and our protagonist landed a boring, nine-to-five desk job that paid her pretty decently: something she actually wanted.

(it granted her more freedom to live life the way she wanted, if you would believe it.)

It was one day at the desk that she decided to take a small break from the grind and reminisce with some old blog posts. She found one in particular that had a picture of a lake in beautiful Poway, CA. She had visited this lake for a day with her family a few years back. There's a park on one side of the lake, and it all seems like it's in the middle of nowhere, but it's actually in the middle of everything, while still maintaining this almost oasis feeling - it's beautiful. :) The trip was during the transition phase between Winter and Spring, the purpose for a trip was to celebrate a marriage, Disneyland had been squeezed in, and she was with family; every sweet reminder of that weekend always put a sparkle in her eye and (forgive me for sounding trite) love in her heart.

It's a special thing for her, you know, and there isn't a more accurate way to describe it. :)

Anyway. 

She remembered the trip with fondness, and then went back to work.

A couple days later, she was going for a much needed drive, listening to music and thinking thoughts, when the thought entered her mind: 

"Let's go to California."

She entertained the idea for a moment: If I just pick up and go to California, right now, she thought, no one would even know. My roommates would know, but that's because they see me every day. But my family wouldn't know, my friends wouldn't know... I could just up and leave, come back, and I wouldn't even miss a beat.

She gave it more consideration. She could easily get the time off work, and that would be her only obstacle. Though it would be an expensive, impulsive decision, she could technically afford it. Besides, spending money on life experiences makes a person happier, and this would definitely make for a fun, "irresponsible, single, twenty-something" story for later. She had the money, the GPS, the car, and the spontaneity - why not? :)

And so, dear friends, with pictures of Lake Poway on her dashboard, freshly painted toenails, and a flower in her hair, she started her sun chase to the Golden State. If you need her, she'll be in any one of these places:

life?

life is good. :)

Daydream No. 3

There is an attractive man

who knows he's hot

but doesn't really act like it,

and I'm pretty sure he's got girls all over him.

And I'm pretty sure I'm older than him anyway,

and that's slightly weird for me.

It's whatever, really.

But like,

I just wish he would talk to me.

That's all I can daydream about this one.

The other stuff I imagined just sounded silly,

like

"ghastly, empty pap,"

(name that movie).

Plus,

I can't even talk to him

because he's so FREAKIN attractive

and probably way cooler than me,

and I don't want to get my hopes up.

Therefore,

I'm sorry, dearest readers,

there could be a fun daydream right now,

but there's not,

just a wish/daydream thing of this guy and I ACTUALLY talking and becoming friends,

because not even my daydreams can quite reach that height.

...Imma be straight honest,

cause this all sounds dramatic and I don't really like that,

I have a problem with completely tearing myself apart.

And I've been doing it so much over the past little while

that I'm kinda losing hope in myself in a lot of different areas in my life.

Someone in my ward said something along the lines of:

"If Satan can't shake our testimony, he'll do all he can to turn us on ourselves."

THIS. IS. MY. LIFE.

I keep telling myself I'm not good enough for

ANYTHING

or ANYONE

at ANY TIME,

and I am destroying myself.

BUT.

I'm working on it.

I've got two talks by President Uchtdorf in my arsenal,

and one by Elder John H. Groberg

AND I have Tangled,

(yes, Tangled. I'm learning great stuff from that movie. ...I'm serious.)

The Atonement is real.

I know it can heal my heart,

and I know that I have to stop attacking myself so I can actually heal.

Additionally,

God has surrounded me with wonderful people in my life

who lift me up in simple ways,

for whom I am so grateful. :)

K now I want it known that I'm not sharing this to make anyone feel sorry for me.

I'm just an open person

(sometimes)

and I like being straight up and honest with people.

I am sharing this to let you know,

dearest readers,

that my imagination will be up and running soon.

And hey -

maybe something small will actually happen

and I'll be inspired to embellish some details

or change the ending

and write another daydream. :)

(one that's not empty pap.)

By the way,

that movie I quoted is Saving Mr. Banks.

Point for you if you got it. :)

Until then. :)

Fantastic Thing No. 6

Recently, for the first time in my [almost] 24 years of living, I watched Disney’s The Hunchback of Notre Dame (note: I’ve never read the book; this version of the story is the only one I know). I loved it! I loved so many things about it and could probably go on about it for days. :) But there’s one thing that I want to write about, and that is the song from the movie entitled Heaven’s Light/Hellfire.

Here are the lyrics to the Heaven’s Light part:

So many times out there,

I’ve watched a happy pair

of lovers walking in the night.

They  had a kind of glow around them;

it almost looked like Heaven’s Light.

I knew I’d never know

that warm and loving glow,

though I might wish with all my might.

No face as hideous as my face

was ever meant for Heaven’s Light.

But suddenly, an angel has smiled at me

and kissed my cheek without a trace of fright.

I dare to dream that she might even care for me.

And as I ring these bells tonight,

my cold dark tower seems so bright!

I swear, it must be Heaven’s Light!

This song captivates me. Usually, I like translating my sentiments into words that can be perceived by my audience, then interpreted by each receiving mind into his or her own thoughts and sentiments, thus, hopefully connecting our hearts and minds, even if only for a brief moment. However, I’m finding it very hard to accurately express how I feel about this song. But here we go:

Layer 1: The words alone carry such an innocent message of the pure, sweet hope for love that makes your heart fly a little higher. :)

Layer 1.5: “I knew I’d never know that warm and loving glow, though I might wish with all my might. No face as hideous as my face was ever meant for Heaven’s Light. But suddenly, an angel has smiled at me and kissed my cheek without a trace of fright.” You learn more about this character and feel a small, almost piercing twinge of sadness for him, and that he ever saw himself in this way. But again, you see that things are looking up for him, and that makes the flight of your heart a little sweeter. J

A musical side note:

The emotions of this layer and a half are even reflected in the music. Listening to just the instrumental part, from 1:19-1:27 it really is sweet and innocent. You have the little chimes/bells on the top giving the impression of something glittering and twinkling which, in my opinion, suggest the fantastic innocence and magic of youth; it’s like we’re being allowed to be dreamers again just for a few seconds (and that fits perfectly with the line, “I dare to dream that she might even care for me.”). You also have the flutes with their weightless echo of the theme dancing over steady, but almost equally weightless tympanic bounds, which make me think of Quasimodo: a tragic, but powerful creature who usually longs for something more, but has finally found a reason to look heavenward. :) Then, reflecting layer 1.5, you have 1:27-1:39; still uplifting, but more substantial, introducing brass and strings and a lower, more powerful timpani drum line that still retains its almost weightless, bounding movement. It’s like you’re happy, but you look a little deeper and now you’re more deeply happy! It’s beautiful. :)

Layer 2: You learn more about the story, and you realize that this love that Quasimodo dreams of doesn’t actually play out as he had hoped. Esmerelda actually ends up with Phoebus. (BUT! The love that she has for Quasimodo is still sweet, and the love he has for her in return is still pure! Heaven’s Light is still there, just not as he originally hoped for! For my heart, I have to add that.) But as you listen to this part, knowing this pure desire of his heart still doesn’t get realized by the end of the movie and that he doesn’t actually get the girl, your heart breaks just a little for him. It kind of puts a hole there. To me, it feels like an opportunity lost, but that loss is sweetened just a little by the fact that Esmerelda, Phoebus, and Quasimodo all truly do love each other (in my opinion)… but it’s like… “ahhhh…….” I don’t really know how to put these sentiments into words, but it’s kinda like that. It’s among the sweetest stings I’ve ever felt.

Layer 3: K now this layer is more of my personal perspective on this song. I can kind of relate to Quasimodo. I think, to some extent, a lot of us might be able to. Personally, it kinda hits home for me because I’ve never had a relationship pan out. I’ve never even been on a second date. I also used to have kinda low self-esteem when I was younger, and though I’ve come a long way with that, I still have my moments where I think to myself something pretty similar to “I knew I’d never know that warm and loving glow, though I might wish with all my might. No face as hideous as my face was ever meant for Heaven’s Light.” There was a time in my life when I thought that might FINALLY change, and it almost did a few times, but in the end, it wasn’t what I had originally hoped for. It’s a long and complicated story. But actually, this kid (and his wife) and I are actually really good friends, and I’m happy with how things have turned out with him, even though I’m still dreaming about my own glimpse of Heaven’s Light. …but like, I already feel the light of Christ in my life through the love and my friends and family, but hopefully you know what I’m getting at. So underneath the sweet and the sad is a sense of reality for me, and that gives this song a sweet place in my heart. And that might seem like a sad thing, but I actually kind of cherish it, because I’ll always and forever be a starry-eyed [day]dreamer, and I still have that hope that one day, something will happen for me. :) (Let it be known that the other aspects of my life are awesome, and I’m living my life to the fullest!)

So that’s a lot of explanation as to why I love this song, and I haven’t even touched all of it yet! I also love the other half of the song, not because I fancy perverted old men (GROSS), but because of the dark melodies (hopefully that doesn’t make me a dark/bad person… I just really love emotionally-charged things), and mostly because of the great juxtaposition of light and love that it is! Heaven’s Light vs. Hellfire. Pure, innocent love vs. ugly, filthy lust. …which is funny, since Frollo’s the one that speaks of himself as “so much purer than the common, vulgar, weak, licentious crowd” and Quasimodo is considered the ugly one. Huh.

Anyway, this song is fantastic in all senses of the word. Also, it’s got that daydream element to it, so it’s perfectly suited for Daydreams and Fantastic Things. :)

Life is beautiful. :)

Fantastic Thing No. 5

Short post, but I have to tell you how OpPX went! (See Fantastic Thing No. 4)

It was awesome! :) So instead of leaving at 2:00AM like we originally planned, we actually ended up sneaking out at like 3:00AM Christmas morning to execute Operation: Polar Express. We snuck out to be greeted by SNOW! It hadn’t snowed here all winter so that was exciting (WHITE CHRISTMAS!!), but it also made me really nervous to drive… I love my little Rav4, but it terrifies me in snow. I felt so much more comfortable driving my old Excursion in the snow because it’s this heavy tank that really didn’t slip that often, and it NEVER got stuck. …well, except for one time when I decided to do something stupid, and my dad had to come pull me out… ;)

ANYWAY.

We snuck out and drove over to Orem South Base where we filed into Big Haircut and Effie’s car, and then we all drove to 7-11 for hot chocolate/slurpees. I was a slight nervous wreck the whole time, praying that we wouldn't get in an accident, because the snow was seriously coming down! I didn't want to imagine that phone call: "Hey parents, it's your loving children. I know it's early, but we just got in a car accident and are in the back of an ambulance on our way to the hospital. Merry Christmas!" Yeah, THAT would have gone over well... Good thing none of that happened! We were fine. :) #GodAnswersPrayers 

We went back to Orem South Base and read The Polar Express, and then Squad 2 and I drove home and went back to bed. We took some pictures and videos to document our little adventure, and so my sister made that + a few added clips/pics into this cool action-movie trailer on her iPad, and now we’ll all remember it forever. We still keep it a secret, though! Maybe if my sister lets me steal that trailer, I’ll post it here. Same thing next year? Haha, maybe. :)

Princess Aurora, over and out. :)

Fantastic Thing No. 4

Life is more fun when you get really into things.

As one who is constantly talking down to myself, convincing myself that I’m nothing special, and making myself feel otherwise inadequate, I feel that it’s ok sometimes to talk about the things I’m good at.

You know, as long as I don’t get too narcissistic. :)

But guys, if there’s one thing I think I’m pretty good at, it’s using my imagination and totally plunging into another world. :) I’m serious, once I’m in that other world, I am IN that other world! My brain no longer knows the life I’ve lived for near 24 years. I am, and always was, a wizard (well, witch), a seeker of a fabled flute, an Oscar’s event planner, etc. Three of my favorite recent adventures? Read on!

Scenario 1: Avenger

There’s an elementary school close to where I live. One time, my roommates and I decided to play there because, well, we felt like it. It has a huge rope structure that looks like a giant spider web, a weirdo piece of metal that you try to climb up and then slide down, swings, monkey bars, a play set with a captain’s wheel or two, etc. The whole thing reminded me of the Avengers, mostly because of the spider web. I felt like freakin the Black Widow! All of the sudden, I was an Avenger at Avenger Training Camp. Everyone had to choose a name and a power, and everything was a matter of life and death. Also, I think I was like 5 years old. (Explains the life and death importance.) As a dauntless leader I sailed our ship through mighty waters. Oh, the treachery! Swift as a ninja I scaled the web. Upon reaching the top, I made the boldest, truest speech of all speeches, its memory transcending the test of time through books and movies and legends passed down from generation to generation, but the work itself being so pure and moving in its brilliant craft that it could never, ever be replicated. My life had meaning and purpose, and it was to save the world. I knew that Avenger Training Camp was going to help me fulfill my destiny.

Then it was time to go home because, well, you know, finals.

Scenario 2: Professional Stat-Keeper

It’s basketball season for my youngest brother. A couple Saturdays ago, he had two games, and I went to both. My dad couldn’t attend either game, so he asked me to send him updates. Not that I mind keeping him the loop, but texting updates to my family during games can SUCK. You can’t just watch the game! But it’s cool. Another younger brother (Daniel) was also at the games, and he was texting our oldest brother (Michael) updates, so once he found out I was texting our dad, he’s like, “Hey, send those to Michael, too!” At that point, the first game was about over. The second game was in another gym, so we walked over once the first game was done. Michael met us there. I texted the rest of my family members before Game 2 to see if anyone else wanted updates. Then this happened:

Me:  Welcome to the OHS Sophomore Basketball Team Update Service. Our services include score updates at the end of every quarter, as well as updates on our Spotlight Player. Today’s Spotlight is: Enoch Fiso (#11). The game will begin shortly. Thank you for choosing the OHS Sophomore Basketball Team Update Service.

Dad: Thank you!

Dad: Is he playing?

Me: I’m sorry, this game has not started yet. Our services will begin at tipoff.

Sister: :)

Me: Game has started. Fiso is not yet playing.

Dad: Who are they playing?

Me: OHS vs. Jordan

Dad: Is he playing?

Me: Today’s Spotlight has just entered the game. 2:56 left in the 1^st quarter.

Me: End of 1^st Quarter: 5-15 Tigers. Fiso with 1 #SICK block and 1 rebound.

Dad: Great!

Me: Enoch Fiso with a 3!

Dad: Great! How is his defense?

Brother: Nice.

Me: He’s playing a good game.

Me: Fiso with a layup!

Dad: Yahoo!

Me (format borrowed from texts ESPN sends me): OHS lead JHS 30-21 at halftime. OHS: E Fiso 5pts, 4reb, 1blk.

Me (but it was actually Daniel): One super sick block! Michael got it on camera.

Me: That was from our intern, Daniel Fiso.

Me: Start of the 3^rd quarter, Fiso still in.

Mom: Awesome

Dad: Send me the block, please.

Me: Our services to not include instant replays. …plus, it’s hard to see on his phone anyway. Better on a computer.

(sidenote: Michael was filming on a GoPro, and he was streaming it through his phone)

Me: Enoch Fiso Fiso was fouled but only made one free throw.

Dad: Okay. Cheer him on!

Me: Missed two free throws.

Me: OHS down 39-42 at the end of the 3^rd.

Dad: How is Enoch playing?

Me: He’s tired.

Sister: Bummer!

Me: 2 free throws in.

Mom: Yea!!!!!!!!!

Dad: How much time remaining?

Me: 1:05 remaining. Enoch just put in a free throw.

Sister: He is shooting a lot of free throws!

Me: Just made two free throws. Orem wins 61-54. Stats to follow.

At this point, I just sent over the list of stats I’d been keeping without formatting them like ESPN does. But I figure that’s one way to get through having to text people the whole game! :)

Scenario 3: Secret Agent (Op PX)

Some of my siblings and I have been scheming for a full year. Our plan? Operation Polar Express. :) Basically we’re sneaking out after our parents lay out our Santa presents in the wee hours of Christmas morning, picking up Michael and Elise, going to 7/11 to get slurpees/hot chocolate, reading The Polar Express, and looking at Christmas lights. But we’re not just doing that. No, it’s a SECRET MISSION. :) We’ve devised a plan, given ourselves nick names, and even labeled areas in our house to fit the occasion! For example: The front door = Port of Entry 1. Back Doors = Port of Entry 2A and PoE 2B. Stairways = Shafts. Our house = Home Base. Michael and Elise’s house = Orem South Base. etc. It’s AWESOME. I sent this text out to the peeps to brief them on our upcoming adventure. This is where I was feeling particularly proud of myself:

Attention OpPX Team:

37.5 hours until commencement. Here’s a list of the nicknames I have so far:

Squad 1

Michael: Coach

Elise:

Squad 2

Melissa: Assistant to the Regional Manager

Stephanie: Aurora

Daniel: D Mack

Aaron: Red Leader

Enoch: Echo Foxtrot

Plan: Squad 2 leaves Home Base at appr. 0200 hours on Christmas Morning. Arrive at Orem South Base at appr. 0210 hours. Hit up 7-11, drive around seeking out impressive Christmas displays, read the Polar Express. Return Squad 1 to Orem South Base appr. 0300 hours. Squad 2 returns to Home Base appr. 0307. Fall out.

Michael and Elise texted me back correcting their nicknames, to which I responded informing them that these changes had been updated in the mission database. I’ll have to let you know how this one turns out, because we’re all so stoked for it! :)

Like I said:

Life?

Life is good.

And sometimes, it’s even better when you get really into things. :)